Baby, We Don’t Let Bullies Win
Inside these walls, our values don’t change.
Parenting has never been easy.
You spend your days cleaning up messes and explaining concepts that may seem like common sense, but you know, they’re kids.
We are constantly finding new ways to explain our decisions, understand our own thought processes, and take care of ourselves while taking care of others, all of which is happening within our four walls.
Step outside the home, and as you know, the world loves to throw a wrench in our plans.
You know, like when the ice cream truck rolls by your house as you’re setting the dinner table. Or how about when parents let their kids climb up the slide right after you just asked your kids not to?
Oh, now I’m the bad guy for putting safety first? Cool, cool.
Our kids live by one set of rules at home and are rightfully confused when they see their friends living by a whole other set in their homes. “Every home has different rules, kid. Sorry!”
But throughout my life, my community has followed one rule: the golden one. In short, the golden rule is to treat others how you’d like to be treated. Pretty basic but easy to understand.
You treat people with kindness. You’re accountable for your actions. You’re honest and respectful. These concepts are found on most elementary classroom walls nationwide, from California to Alabama.
They’re not controversial; they don’t cause a stir. It’s how we live in our communities among thousands of people who hold differing points of view about anything from ice cream flavors to their brand of politics.
We’re kind to others. We’re accountable for our actions. We’re honest and respectful.
We live by the golden rule, and when one person chooses to ignore it and become a bully, we stand up for others, as it takes a community effort to protect those who need protection.
We don’t let bullies win.
“But Dad, how come a bully gets to become President?”
Don’t you love it when kids ask questions you can’t answer? I could give a concept of how this happened again, but every word would seem foreign to what we teach at home.
“Well, unfortunately, being a bully is not a deal breaker for everyone, and some people around us are okay with a bully as long as they don’t think they’ll be bullied themselves.”
I don’t know about you, but when I told my daughters that Donald Trump was returning to office, I could see their gears turning, curious about how bad behavior gets rewarded for some.
I don’t inundate my kids with what’s happening in politics. They’re kids. Their days should be filled with concerns like “How can I get to the swing fastest at recess?”
They’re aware of who’s running for President, and they’re aware of my disdain for Donald Trump’s character because as much as I wished I could remain neutral, I’m not sane-washing this bully for anyone.
The hyper-individualist society we’re building frightens me. Upon our 2024 election results, I watched as people celebrated their 401K’s future performance.
I saw a string of genuinely insane conspiracy theories about Democrats crafting Project 2025 to scare the public.
And then, of course, Black women and women throughout the United States have been receiving messages from the most disgusting men (and boys) on earth saying, “Your Body, My Choice.”
I’ve felt this for a while. You can definitely see a decline in common courtesy in movie theaters and concerts.
While walking my daughter to school, I witness parents whipping around corners, narrowly missing cars and kids in their effort to beat the bell.
God forbid you acknowledge this bad behavior because, more times than not, you get a middle finger in return for yelling toward a speeding car, “Slow down” as you approach a crosswalk with your family.
Society has always had its fair share of individualism, that isn’t new. However, 2024 and beyond look wildly different than years past as we’ve seen how a lack of kindness, accountability, honesty, and respect has once again catapulted Donald Trump into the most important office in the land.
I’m frustrated, for sure, on a personal level, but mainly as a parent. The mental gymnastics it takes to excuse racism, sexism, ableism, and more is beyond my comprehension, especially when his resounding victory came at the hands of a strategy that would send any kid straight toward expulsion.
In full transparency, I want to acknowledge how the economy was a driving factor in people’s decisions. The cost of living is high, and while people seem to misremember how Donald Trump’s mishandling of COVID and the economy led him to lose the 2020 election, the current administration will always take the credit come election season, fair or not.
While people can point to the policy and three days’ worth of stock market growth as a reason to justify their support of a quintessential bully, I would quite literally rather die than choose my 401K over my community.
Humans are imperfect. We always will be. The one constant in our time on earth is that change is inevitable. It’s baked into the recipe.
I’m a different person today than I was before kids. My daughters are changing every day, too. Over time, we’ll learn new information that challenges old information, which helps us form new identities in a body that once held contradictory opinions.
But no matter how we change, and despite the unjust nature of our environment, as I parent my girls, my goal is to ensure our core values remain the same.
In this house, we are kind to others. We’re accountable for our actions. We’re honest and respectful but naive.
At times, we will stumble, and perfection is never the goal. Bullies may stack their wins, but I assure you the hate in their hearts and the paranoia in their minds is no victory at all.
Baby, no matter what happens outside our four walls, I promise you that in this home, we will never let bullies win.
