Don’t Be the Reason Your Kid Says “I Quit!”
Kids are getting burned out in sports. How can we fix it?
70% of kids drop out of organized sports by age 13.
Sports aren’t for everyone, right? There are plenty of activities for kids to participate in, so if they dropped basketball for, say theater, I would take no issue with it, especially as a former basketball player/theater kid.
Unfortunately, kids aren’t dropping out because they want to try something new. They’re dropping out because they’re burned out — not even over the schedule, but burned out because of excessive performance pressure stemming from coaches, society, and even their parents.
I’m a huge proponent of sports.
They bring people together, teach kids about physical health, and teach kids about perseverance through wins and losses.
Sports may not be for every kid, but for those who sign up, there can be magic in sports.
Unfortunately, we’ve failed to protect our kids, and that magic has been stolen from far too many while the pressures of sports are harming kids worldwide.
The Benefits of Youth Sports
As a kid, I stayed active. Hockey, Baseball, Football, Basketball. It didn’t matter. If it was a sport, I tried it, no questions asked.
While I was better at some sports than others, a consistent theme I learned was how to stay active, communicate with teammates and coaches, overcome barriers, etc.
I’m sure I could have learned similar lessons in other activities, but sports was such an easy transition for me, as it is for many kids. Just throw them out there and see what happens!
It’s not just kids who benefit from youth sports; their future selves do, too!
Sports participation is a significant predictor of young adults’ participation in sports and physical fitness activities. Adolescents who play sports are eight times as likely to be active at age 24 as adolescents who do not play sports. Three in four (77%) of adults aged 30+ who play sports today played sports as school-aged children. Only 3% of adults who play sports currently did not play when they were young.
Additionally, the skills kids pick up while playing sports also have life long effects such as educational, emotional, and mental components that will take kids far through college and the workforce.
Identifying the Signs of Burnout
While this definition pertains to adults at work, I find it fascinating how applicable it is to kids playing sports. Kids shouldn’t be burning out over games, yet it’s happening every day.
Thankfully, there are ways for parents to spot burnout in their kids, but before we list these items, parents must be ready to make a change if and when necessary.
Decreased motivation — seeing a decline in performance or just a general hesitancy to get ready for games or practices is enough to warrant a conversation.
Physical symptoms — Are your kids having trouble sleeping? Are they constantly sick? Are they always exhausted and dealing with abnormal aches and pains? If so, I’d say a rest is needed ASAP, but more importantly, burnout may be leading to some of these concerns.
Emotional changes: Irritability, moodiness, and failure to find enjoyment in the things they once did. Listen, I get that we’re talking about kids, and this is going to happen one way or another, but you know your kid better than anyone, so if you feel these changes have been caused by something other than general hormones, it’s worth checking into.
Cognitive symptoms — If their attention span is dwindling and they seem to be more forgetful than usual, again, it would be worth having a conversation to see if their sports schedule is too overwhelming this season. If not, it may lead to a good conversation about what they need to get back on track.
The Role of Pressure in Sports
Some kids put this insane pressure on themselves to perform.
If you’ve ever watched Modern Family, Phil and Claire’s middle daughter, Alex, was an extraordinary student and pushed herself to be at the top of her class. Nobody forced her to be this way (especially anyone in her family); it’s how she was built.
Unfortunately, more often than not, some parents and coaches push kids to perform at insanely high levels, thinking that an intense focus on their sport will take them to where they want to go.
We’ve seen movies and documentaries where athletes talk about their brutal practice schedules and how they led to greatness. I’d like to say more structured practice leads to better results, but the data shows it doesn’t.
That mamba mentality may benefit some, and I’d argue that Kobe Bryant’s work ethic is why he is revered in basketball circles.
While some parents and coaches live by the “Eat, breathe, sleep sports” moniker, the best basketball player on earth, Nikola Jokic, says, “Basketball is not the main thing in my life. It’s something that I’m good at.”
Sports will always provide a phenomenal outlet for kids to try something new, get outside, and have fun.
While watching kids play sports, from time to time, you’ll notice that some kids are really good — like, “That kid will at least play college ball” good.
If that happens to be your kid, that’s awesome, and you should do everything in your power to support them in their potential without stealing their love of the game.
Kids are dropping out of sports left and right because, as a society, we’ve lost our way in terms of what truly matters out on the field. It’s not about the score, and it’s certainly not about the record.
Can you imagine a grown adult bragging about their 10U Baseball team going undefeated 25 years ago? Seriously, how embarrassed would you be for that person if they brought it up?
Parents need to be more proactive with their kids, leading by example when discussing sports. Get excited about the progress and walk them through the hard moments, but teach them that rest is just as big a part of sports as training.
There is so much joy in sports.
Every few years, we come together to celebrate the Summer and Winter Olympics, and Paralympic athletes accomplish incredible feats that are made possible through hard work.
This isn’t to say we shouldn’t take sports seriously. There is beauty in achieving challenging goals. But when it comes to our kids and sports, keep it in perspective and understand that the sole point of youth sports is to teach lessons that can translate into any area of their lives.
The one lesson they need to hear the most right now is that sports are just a game. Have fun!
