Everybody Needs a Jen Barkley

Sometimes we need someone to give it to us straight.

NBC’s Parks and Recreation has inspired me in several ways.

I’ve built an ice cream brand, Be Ice Cream Or Be Nothing, off a Ron Swanson quote. I spent two terms as a City of Vacaville Parks and Recreation Commissioner, mainly inspired by the Pawnee Parks department.

If you want to talk Parks and Rec, I’m your guy.

But when I’m asked about my favorite Parks scene, people are often surprised to find it’s not one of the obvious classics (although Get On Your Feet will always be a close second).

Jen Barkley, the Washington DC powerhouse turned Bobby Newport Campaign manager, had a legendary run on the show, including iconic lines like, “Poncho!” But my favorite Jen Barkley line was when she gave Leslie Knope the following advice after Leslie was considering another run for Pawnee City Council:

Then dream bigger! Look, you love this town. It’s being run by monsters and morons. Get a better job!…

Look, Pawnee has done you a favor. You’ve outgrown them. You’ve got talent, you’ve got name recognition, which means that you have a bright, wide open future with a thousand options…

And you can trust me because I don’t care enough about you to lie.

This scene was like the peak of a rollercoaster after six seasons of climbing uphill.

Leslie Knope, the hardest working person on the planet, had made it her mission to become a Pawnee City Councilmember. And when she achieved her goal, the totally normal Pawnee residents took it away from her. Thankfully, somebody was able to give Leslie the advice she needed. Everybody, and I mean everybody, knew she was destined for so much more.

Who do you have in your life that could give it to you straight like this?

After I was laid off from my job, I felt humiliated. Unwanted and unworthy were the two adjectives I most closely associated with myself. What am I going to tell my kids? What will this do to my marriage?

Through my fears and self-doubt, my wife gave me the confidence to believe in myself again;

Them letting you go will be the best thing that could have happened to you.

I’ve dreamed of bigger work for as long as I can remember. Writing, speaking, advocating for parents, advocating for fathers, and improving equity in the workplace, to name a few.

As a 30-something husband and a father of two, quitting a good paying job to follow a dream is not something I would have ever done. I’ve got responsibilities. People count on me.

But then I was pushed out of the plane. We’ve thought about the jump but couldn’t make it ourselves. Now here I am, falling or flying; I’m not quite sure. Still, navigating these winds is exhilarating.

I know that having my wife vocalize her belief in me has motivated me to lean into my craft far more than ever. This season is scary in more ways than one, but building a life I can be proud of with the people I love is worth the try.

I’ve got this.

For years, I’d dip my toe into projects here and there, proud of my work but curious if I could do more. All it took was a little confirmation from the love of my life that the dreams I’ve had for myself were far too small for what I am capable of achieving.

If you’re in a similar boat, curious if you’re worthy of anything more significant after a few stumbles, dream bigger. These stumbles have done us a favor and may be the best things to have ever happened to us.