The Problem With Work-Life Balance
Who Holds the Power? The Complexities of Defining Work-Life Balance in Family Structures and Why Parents Need to Take The Power Back.
“What did the first person on earth do for work?”
Kids and their questions!
One minute you’re sitting at the breakfast table with a toasted English muffin; the next, you’re contemplating early civilization and how the first human beings survived.
“The first person didn’t have a job. So they basically just hunted and ate and tried to keep warm in the cold.”
“Why didn’t they have a job?” my daughter asked.
“Because jobs, like we know them, didn’t exist. Thankfully, the earth has given us a lot to live off, and the early people just lived.”
Listen, I know there’s a better answer, but we were minutes away from heading out the door for school. Parents, you understand me.
“If the earth has everything we need, then why do we need jobs?”
I chuckled at a child painting business as a scam, questioning why anyone would need to work a 9–5 day if the first human didn’t have to work one.
I know I should have said something profound. I probably should have told her about innovations and the connectivity of society and how in theory, businesses work together to provide a better life for those around us.
But after finding myself on the unemployment line, like the thousands of people who’ve been laid off over the past few months, I was feeling salty, and I honestly didn’t care to explain capitalism at that moment.
“I don’t know, babe. Did you grab your backpack?”
I couldn’t explain how priorities have gone out of wack during our human experiment. Since the beginning of time, nothing has mattered more than family and legacy, but somehow we’ve allowed ourselves to be exploited, leaving our boss to take the best while our family gets the rest.
Work has become the central tenant of life, from our health to our ability to have children. And after decades of this lopsided trade, we pray to make it to retirement to enjoy our final days.
In recent years, employees have pushed for a work-life balance, making inroads in some areas while fighting for change in others.
In November 2022, corporate profits reached record highs, taking in more than $2 trillion. In 2021, CEOs made nearly 400 times more than the typical worker did, a massive increase from 1965 when a CEO made about 15 times the typical worker’s salary.
Have executive-level folks become that much smarter than their workers? Have they become that much more valuable than customer-facing employees?
While the C-suite has never made such a profit, your average American worker has never felt more depressed. That depression leads to less efficiency, so naturally, employers are inclined to advertise a better work-life balance for their future employees, applying for awards like Best Place To Work to increase the applicant flow.
We have the data. The studies show that the biggest regret in people’s lives is that they worked too much, trading intentionality for productivity. So a shift has begun to correct course, emphasizing work-life balance to ensure your life outside of work is conducive to your ability to produce good work. In theory, it’s a win-win.
But, you see, the problem with work-life balance is that it’s predicated on the employer’s bottom line, not ours.
Low morale in the workplace is costly.
Employee turnover is expensive.
Give me a glass of water, and I’ll tell you it’s half full all day, but there are financial incentives for throwing bones toward employees to keep them engaged. That’s how work works.
But if you leave this earth tomorrow, how long will it take before your role is posted on LinkedIn?
If a spell of depression rears its head, how long will it be before your services are no longer needed at work?
If your child is sick and your hospital stay is longer than anticipated, how long is your grace period? How long do you have before the executives get antsy and your client’s empathy runs out?
In each of these scenarios, your employer is doing their literal job; by definition, they are right to place their needs over yours. But if you consistently put your employer’s needs over your family, I need you to know there isn’t a dollar in the world worth your time.
Work-life balance isn’t a 50/50 split. Work can certainly upgrade the vacation. But if life is hoping for one vacation without hearing, “Hey, sorry to bother you. I just have one quick question about work…” please do everything you can to make a change.
The workplace has infringed on our family since our phones started receiving emails. It’ll take a concerted effort on our part, one that’ll take sacrifice in the name of finances or opportunities, but find the person who chose work over family and tell me you want their life. Tell me you want their relationships.
The balance begins with you.
Your priorities. Your future. Your ambitions.
Your ambitions may align with more hours, and that sacrifice is necessary for certain seasons. Building big requires big sacrifice. But in the midst of building, don’t lose focus of your why.
Titles, larger bank accounts, and status only go so far as you facetime your ten-year-old while out on the road, trading another birthday for a company retreat.
The problem with work-life balance is we’ve given capitalism the power. A shift back to life that prioritizes family over profits won’t be easy to obtain, but it is possible. We need to start by taking some of that power back. Here are six steps you can take:
1. Review your HR policies
Does your workplace have rules against contacting you outside of work? If not, conduct some research. However, be careful who you ask, as not all HR professionals are as confidential as you would hope for.
2. Review your job description
Being a team player is great! Sometimes you’ll need to step out of your job description to go above and beyond and help a colleague or yourself. But there’s a line that is crossed by too many employers.
If you’re constantly being asked to perform duties that don’t align with your job description, ask for a raise or at least a title change. An organization’s inability to plan properly is not your burden, so if you’re left to pick up the pieces, ensure you’re compensated for it.
3. Take pride in your work
The reality is work is necessary. The way we currently work isn’t, but work itself is. The saying “whatever you do, do it well” applies to several scenarios, and your current role is one of them.
Your efforts may not be appreciated by anyone else. You may not get the praise or the raise you deserve. But you’re building a skillset that you can leverage, and leverage can help you in your future.
4. Take your vacation days
Employees leave too much vacation time on the table. The days exist for a reason. Take them! And if you’re constantly bothered by colleagues while out of the office, laws prevent others from contacting you, especially your boss.
Protect yourself by documenting the steps you’ve taken to ensure your work is handled while you’re out. You deserve a vacation, and your family deserves you.
5. Take the interview
Employees often decline interviews with interesting companies because they feel bad going behind their employer’s back. As someone who’s sat in plenty of succession meetings, please don’t feel bad.
Interviewing is a drag, so I understand not wanting to if you’re in a good place, but if you decline an interview because of loyalty to your job, please remember your job has zero loyalty to you.
6. Advocate for yourself
The second your employer needs to cut you loose, they will. It’s not personal; it’s business. But when it comes to the important things in life, it’s personal, not business.
It might not be as easy as some make it, but a career change is possible. Taking a step back for your family doesn’t need to be a red mark on your resume. Your time is valuable. Treat it as such.
You deserve to place your family’s needs above your employer’s beach home. So let’s take some of that power back by prioritizing life-work balance.