What Dads Really Want for Father’s Day
You don’t have to break the bank to make his day special. For most dads, Father’s Day is about presence over presents.
Mother’s Day 2023 felt as if all the mom influencers got together and coordinated a marketing campaign telling dads worldwide what they didn’t want for their special day.
I’m talking reels on reels of some side-splitting content, giving dads a play-by-play rundown of how the day is supposed to go.
Here is a brief list:
Don’t leave the kids with Mom while you run errands on Mother’s Day
Don’t cook an extensive meal that requires Mom to navigate the kids on Mother’s Day (especially when everyone is hungry)
Wake up early with the kids and make Mom coffee
Give Mom some time to herself
Basic stuff, right? Well, the passive-aggressive (and sometimes aggressive aggressive) nature of these videos showed me that many of these moms are fed up. No more “just surprise me” days. These ladies said, “This is what I want, and this is what I don’t want. Here’s the playbook. Run the play!”
Honestly, I respect it.
But now we’ve got Father’s Day coming around the corner, and the reality is you’re unlikely to see reels from dads poking fun at how poorly our partners manage our day. You won’t see much content from dads explaining what they want on their special day. Maybe it’s because we really don’t know. Maybe it’s because we severely screwed up Mother’s Day four weeks ago and haven’t found the audacity to request a leisurely day of our own. Maybe it’s because it’s difficult to quantify what an ideal Father’s Day present actually is.
I know what an ideal Father’s Day present isn’t, and that’s a tie. Please, Dad doesn’t want another tie. Dad doesn’t want another beer mug that says, “The man, the myth, the legend.” Don’t just give Dad an hour to do what he wants. You know he’s going to sit there for 30 minutes trying to figure out what to do.
While your favorite dad is unlikely to pointedly ask, “So, what’s the big plan this weekend?” he still deserves to be celebrated. Dad still deserves a gift from the heart. Dad still deserves a day to feel loved, cherished, and honored just as much as your favorite Mom.
You can google “Father’s Day gift ideas” and end up with the same list of shot glasses and very specific t-shirts, or you can ask a few dads. That’s what I did! Well, kinda. I am a dad, but I’m not presumptuous enough to assume that I alone have all the answers for the best Father’s Day gifts. Instead, I went to Reddit to get some help.
I found a thread from 2019 titled Hey, dad, what the hell do you actually want for Father’s Day?
Looking through it, you’re bound to find some unique suggestions. Some of the responses are funny. Others are interesting. A few of the responses are downright heartbreaking.
I went through the thread and highlighted five of my favorite comments to show that, for most dads, it’s not about rolling out the red carpet. It’s all about making a simple effort for that special dad in your life.
/u/yeshua1986 said, “I want to go on a hike with my daughter at her favorite nature center and have a picnic. Get some ice cream after that and then maybe go see a movie if anything good for kids is playing.”
Simple. Effective. Easy to do.
/u/muniki93 said, “It warms my heart to hear of all the other dad’s who would just like some time to themselves on Father’s Day.
I don’t need socks, beer, mugs or a card saying best dad ever. I just want my partner to take our wee girl out for 4 hours or so and to leave me something I can microwave for lunch.
I love my family but between work, housework and giving my partner time off when we are both home it would be nice just to sit back and unwind on my pc or PS4.
Failing that I could do with a new pc monitor and desk”
Another simple idea. Just give Dad time alone at home so they can play video games peacefully. The gesture will go further than you know.
/u/cjcmd said, “To enjoy a day with my adult children, who can make it home, and to spend some time on the phone with those who can’t. In other words, presence not presents.”
You don’t need to go overboard trying to inundate Dad with presents. If you’re out of town, taking the time to see Dad is often more than enough.
/u/shakeyjake said, “Think about a favorite small random memory you had as a child. Frisbee at the park, talking to your dads old friend about his classic car, first scary movie. Give your dad a small gift related to that event and tell the story in the card. Bullseye!”
A trip down memory lane is usually a great idea for Dad. It shows that you listen to those stories and care about the memories behind them.
/u/Craig_White said, “Make something for me by yourself — a picture, a meal, macaroni art, a bit of music on the piano, sing me a song, whatever.
Big hugs, several random group-hugs throughout the day.
Get outside to do some stuff with me — walk on the beach, wash the car together, hike in the woods, play in the park. Picnic is a plus.
watch a “dad-movie” with my color commentary? Spaghetti western, Star wars, Marvel, Lawrence of Arabia…
Basically, spend some happy time with me!”
When in doubt, have the kids make something for Dad. Something from the heart will typically make Dad’s entire year, as will an evening of sitting by his side, enjoying one of his favorite movies while listening to his commentary.
These moments don’t last forever, but the memories you create together do.