The Only Resolution Parents Need This Year
Most people add too much to their plate, leaving New Year's Resolutions unfinished. This year, take this one thing off.
A new year is here. Fitness-based marketing teams have ramped up their efforts, and you’re likely wondering what to add to your New Year’s resolution list.
Unsurprisingly, people love to make declarations for the new year. The calendar turn symbolizes growth, new opportunities, and a rebirth in some ways.
We make resolutions to work out more and incorporate more brown rice and veggies into our diets. We say, “This is the year I start my business,” or try to read more books.
We strive to improve this and prioritize that, and at the end of the year, around 91% of people feel they failed to achieve their resolutions. Why? Thankfully, Discover Happy Habits did their homework.
In one 2014 study, 35% of participants who failed their New Year’s Resolutions said they had unrealistic goals.
33% of participants who failed didn’t keep track of their progress.
23% forgot about their resolutions.
About one in 10 people who failed said they made too many resolutions.
Realistically, New Year’s resolutions are baked into who we are. I’m not going to stop you from making them. I think it’s important to have goals and strive to achieve them, but eventually, life will start throwing curve balls and replacing your bat with a pool noodle.
Oh, my bad. Did I say life? If you’re a parent, I meant kids. It’s kids who are going to throw you curve balls. And that’s okay!
With that knowledge, how do your resolutions change? What do you want to focus on? No matter what you choose to add to your plate this year, I hope there is one thing you remove.
Guilt.
Just saying the word out loud feels terrible.
According to research done by Farm Rich, 75% of parents feel pressured to be perfect. 1 in 4 parents have their decisions questioned by other parents, and have you ever stumbled into a parenting Facebook group? Oh my goodness — landmines galore! If there’s one thing about other parents, it’s that they will make you feel bad for being a parent.
But the funny thing about parenting guilt is that it rarely, if ever, comes from kids. Where parents will judge you for a Tuesday night Mcdonald’s run, kids will be talking about their Happy Meal toy for weeks. Where Grandma says you need to loosen your boundaries, don’t forget that Grandma had you riding in the front seat of her car when you were four.
Are you going to make every decision based on what your kid wants? I sure hope not. There are only so many episodes of My Little Pony that I can take (Now, Bluey, on the other hand, I can put up some numbers). But when you’re jotting down resolutions for the year, whose voice are you hearing? The 75% of us parents working through our guilt or the legions of kids who universally want the same thing: attention, love, and quality time?
Our goals are big because we’re taught that’s what matters. Go for the big present. Go for the big job title. Go big or go home, right? Well, to kids, it’s the little things that mean the most.
Things like putting their artwork on the walls or wearing matching outfits. Cooking a fun breakfast or having more dance parties! These actions in themselves probably won’t lead to accomplishing the traditional resolutions we set for ourselves, but damn, they make life much more fun.
Make your resolutions. Create your word of the year. Again, I am a big proponent of setting and working to achieve a goal. But if there’s a goal I can encourage all parents to add to their list this year, it’s to go easy on yourself. Our resolutions may be rooted in providing a better life for our kids, but our kids have been abundantly clear as to what makes life better for them. Coincidentally, it’s the same thing that makes life better for us.
Remove the guilt and shame that come with typical New Year's resolutions. This year, I hope you find the courage to be a freer version of yourself.